Oh crap! ... An outhouse on First Street!

Vandalism in the town’s public restrooms on Morris Streets and on First Street has prompted drastic action.

The Morris Street public restroom is locked up, and the one on First Street will be open only between the hours of 10 a.m. and 3 p.m.

Anyone who needs a facility outside of the designated open potty hours will have to use the outhouse set up in the adjacent street-side park. The little pocket park has a drinking fountain, sculpture and the slice of old growth log and now an outhouse.

For Mayor Ramon Hayes and Town Administrator John Doyle, the last straw was last week. Neither they nor the Public Works Department could describe the damage in terms appropriate for a family newspaper.

They have suspected culprits in mind — there is a strolling group of merry inebriates, who frequently gather and sometimes nap in the Morris Street restroom.

“We can’t leave the restrooms open when they’re treating them like that,” Doyle said.

On Monday town officials met with Swinomish Tribal Police to enlist aid in addressing the issue. “The tribe was very supportive,” said Doyle.

But coming to an ultimate solution is squarely on the shoulders of the town, which has spent thousands of dollars cleaning up the vandalism.

Doyle said the town will have a bathroom trashing prevention plan in place and the restrooms reopened in plenty of time for tulip tourist season this spring.