What's not wrong

Once upon a time, before COVID-19, so many aspects of life, then taken for granted, added to the flow of our days: Economic opportunity. Operating schools. Open small businesses. Social “non-distancing.” Abundant “non-essentials.” Relative ease.

In my new “flow,” I am working for a Seattle hospital managing care and seeing the strength of colleagues, but also, while working from home in LaConner, feeling challenged by the anxiety that adapting and social distancing brings. Because the horizon of a safe return to “ease” is elusive, I quizzed myself asking “what is not wrong” to juxtapose the grayness of the unfamiliar, and to grasp some humor derived from conversations with others.

To date, our Washington rules leave us with masks recommended, six foot physical distancing, hand-washing requirements and some economic starts but no pandemic solution despite patience, cooperation and desire. So, not wanting to focus on negative thinking or fear, and wanting to grasp at innate human resilience, I asked others and myself “what is not wrong?” Here is what I have heard:

With six foot distancing are you now attentive to when others are nearby you? Do you now consider how close you are to someone else when you would have ignored this? Are you noticing humanity nearby and of course, have shopping lines become calm places?

With protective masking are you learning to smile with your eyes? Are you finding a way to read emotions as is done in Siberian novels where the nuance of skin tone suggests change? Are you saving your white strips and not buying lipstick but wondering about bank robbers? If you are not on board yet with masking are you thinking about growing a beard that can flip up? But seriously, how are you making contact with others now since handshakes and smiles may be challenging?

After you shop and feel “food secure” and then do not feel a strong need to horde, are you fantasizing in a new and sweet way about feeding others in your home or at a picnic and imagining the menu and guests and how much fun it will be and hoping it can last for days? Do you think about something that could be no big deal being a sweet deal?

Facing adversity, are you trying to develop a new skill? I now have a violin and have yet to master “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” Maybe we can have a town-wide end of COVID-19 talent show for those who try and fail or try and succeed? We could have a gong. What skill might you develop? Shall we post silly goals?

Do you feel more urgently that you need other people? Do you miss those you take for granted or have you begun reflecting on the good in others that you may not have seen until now? Are you missing someone you never thought you would miss?

Your body: sure we are all at the risk of baked goods but did you notice that there may be times that your heart rate and blood pressure drop and that your breathing becomes calmer because you are not busy every minute? Acknowledging the challenge of stay at home children, work-in-home and fiscal troubles have you a few more calm or cozy moments than before COVID-19? Has exercising become more attractive? Does exercise feel like a way to address the hunger of sitting inside or still? Is it a more attractive option than TV?

About what did you worry most weeks ago? Has that changed? We’re you sweating small things and have your priorities changed a bit?

Have you become eternally grateful to service providers like our local grocery crew or hospital workers? Those supporting our nursing homes? Our working from home school staff or our Public Health professionals? Are you newly grateful to people about whom you never really thought as being a critical part of your social fabric?

Since everyone has been remote has your communication outreach to friends been made broader? Do you have new computer skills or applications?

Are you enjoying contact with distant family or telemedicine conferencing with your doc or therapist face to face?

Are you thinking about getting a pet? Or is your dog happier for attention and walks and your cat mad at the frequent interference?

Are you making a difference on a day-to-day basis more now than in the past? With social distancing you protect others but what are the more subtle ways you are making a difference?

Are you feeling or giving small acts of kindness?

Emotions: Are you chilling? Are you less angry? More tolerant of others? Is it possible for you to consider the road ahead leading to medical, fiscal and social change as beautiful with surprising steps creating our pandemic and more amazing steps that will lead us out? Have you said to anyone “I won’t be afraid if you stand by me?”

Have you heard more birds singing? At special moments, are you acutely aware of planet Earth changes?

Have you become prayerful or grateful in new ways?

When you can’t accelerate, are you looking back at your life and at your set of beliefs about people and cause and situations and considering that long held ideas might be wrong?

Are you finding time to use new words and to say I love you or something like that more often because you are less busy and life feels more precious – yours and theirs?

Are your values shifting to health as the greatest gift and away from other choices as less essential?

What’s not wrong?

Downes is an RN with an MSW and MPA.