If I ran the zoo

A priest and a rabbi are sitting together in the back seat of a taxicab on the way to an ecumenical event. The taxi gets side-swiped, jumps the curb and comes to a grinding halt.

The priest and rabbi each jump out of the car and cross themselves. The priest is confused. “Rabbi, YOU, thanking the Father, The Son and the Holy Ghost?”

“No Monsignor, just checking.” He goes through the motions again, crossing up and down and then sideways, narrating “Spectacles, testicles, wallet, watch.”

Having heard and shared that joke many times, now that I am in my dotage, I forget things, getting into my car minus a wallet or even car keys. So I adapted that joke into a real life check before leaving the house.

And now I have added one element to it, a MASK!”

That is right. The face mask has become a very important part of our lives. And my mantra has helped me remember to have it, but, still, sometimes I walk out of the house without it, so I keep an extra one in my car and in my truck.

Do I love having to wear a mask? Not at all. But I love life and it is a small price to pay for my own safety and that of others, especially for a very social person like myself, who likes to be out and about as much as possible.

People much smarter than I have made masks a priority in fighting off COVID-19 and people a lot dumber or greedier are ignoring their instructions. Sadly, they are playing with other people’s lives as well as their own, as they often become deadly, sometimes asymptomatic, carriers of the disease.

The numbers are staggering and horrifying. It is becoming harder and harder to hear that we are becoming one of the ineffectual countries in the world when it comes to stopping this virus and are now banned from visiting many wonderful places around the world.

As important as this is to me, sometimes I get distracted and take my mask off to eat or drink, or just cover my mouth and not my nose. Turns out that is even more dangerous. Just as the nose is better for breathing, it is also better for spreading COVID-19.

A study published in the journal Cell mapped locations in the respiratory tract and found that cells that line the nose are more likely to become infected and shed virus to others compared to the throat or lungs.

Please join me in taking this seriously and erring on the side of caution. According to my town spy, Mayor Hayes, who spends a lot of time at this jewelry store on 1st Street in La Conner, more people are wearing masks, even outdoors as they stroll around town, but we can all do even better.

Forgive me for sticking my nose into your business, but this is a matter of life and death and I’m hoping we do everything we can to avoid going back to a Phase One lockup!

And feel free to share my new mantra when leaving the house: Spectacles, car keys, cellphone, wallet and MASK!