If I ran the zoo

Call me crazy (or call me meshugganah, as I am writing this on the most solemn Jewish day of the year, Yom Kippur), but the pandemic does have a good side.

Believe me, I am devastated as the numbers of dead and dying all around the globe just keep getting higher. I want this to end sooner than later and I am praying on this holy day for an end to this madness.

That said, I am seeing some positives. My wife arrived on a flight from Los Angeles yesterday and today she taught her third graders, all of whom were at their homes in LA. It worked well – some lighting problems which hopefully we solved just now – but the concept of a workplace will never quite be the same.

Schools will revert back to normal classroom interaction, but many businesses have changed forever. There are two young men renting the downstairs of my house – I am in the Airbnb business now that Hollywood is shut down – and one is from Connecticut and the other from New York City.

And they ain’t going back. Not even after COVID goes away. They love the Northwest Coast – the weather, the mellow of it all – and they are in the tech sector and can work from anywhere. One of them has already bought a condo and the other has rented one.

Reports are that many businesses are no longer going to supply offices for their workers when they can just as easily work from home and they can do board meetings on Zoom.

As a result, traffic is mellower, smog is not as bad – although here on the Left Coast, it has been replaced by smoke from forest fires. People are moving out of crowded cities into more mellow places that are also more affordable.

Another positive is that really challenging times like this allow for contemplation. Do I really love my job, do I really love where I live, is there a better way for me to live my life? If you are young, you might think, now is a good time to get on the right track. If you’re older, you might think you’re running out of time and need to make the best of the time you have left.

There is a new phenomenon of Pods – groups of neighbors, parents and kids of all ages, hanging out together – a very good way to get the kids away from the television and their iPads and cellphones.

Oh my, I have buried the lead here: I have come up with an end to COVID-19. It is called hydro-chlorine, and it is what I use to sanitize my hot tub. The combination of very hot water and special chemicals allows me to inhale a powerful mist when I sit in the hot tub at least twice a day.

President Trump was almost right when he suggested hydroxychloroquine might be the panacea we are hoping and praying for. Okay, I am not saying hydro-chlorine is the be all and end all and not suggesting that we should stop the testing of several vaccines that seem promising.

But I know it is going to take some time for all of the necessary trials and tribulations and so I am going to hit the save button, email my column to La Conner and head out to the hot tub right now.